The Real Enquiries That Inspired Unsuitable Booking

What happens when your inbox becomes a goldmine of the most audacious, unhinged, and frankly hilarious messages imaginable?

You write a book about it.

Unsuitable Booking is a collection of real-life escorting enquiries — and yes, every single one of them is genuine. No embellishment. No creative licence. Reality, it turns out, needs absolutely none.

The Messages That Started It All

Over the years, a pattern emerged. Certain enquiries arrived that were so spectacularly misjudged, so breathtakingly bold, so magnificently wrong — that simply deleting them felt like a waste. These were messages that deserved to be preserved. Studied. Laughed at, loudly, in public.

Some were confused. Some were cheeky. Some were so far beyond the pale that the only appropriate response was to screenshot them immediately and send them to every friend you have.

The common thread? Every single sender believed, with complete sincerity, that their message was perfectly reasonable.

Why These Enquiries Are So Funny

There's something uniquely comedic about a message sent in total earnestness that lands as complete chaos. The gap between what the sender intended and what they actually communicated is where all the humour lives.

These aren't jokes. They're not constructed for effect. They're real people, writing real words, with real confidence — and that's precisely what makes them so funny.

The best ones have layers. You read them once and laugh. You read them again and find something new. You read them a third time and start to genuinely worry about the state of humanity.

What to Expect from the Book

Unsuitable Booking is strictly 18+. It's not for the faint-hearted, the easily offended, or anyone who prefers their reading material to be sensible.

It is, however, for anyone who:

• Has ever received a message so unhinged they had to read it twice

• Appreciates humour that comes from real life rather than a writer's room

• Wants something to quote at their mates for the next six months

The book drops on 31st October 2026 at midnight BST. Pre-orders are open now for £2.99 — and it lands in your inbox the moment it goes live.

Pre-order Unsuitable Booking now — launching 31st October 2026 at midnight.